Well, our doggie's got a new home

On Monday morning the man who DH brought our dog to meet the night before came by our house to pick her up and take her home. She was excited and I am sure a little confused when she hopped in his car and none of us joined them. It was so sad to see her go...her bowls, treats, cushion and leash were already neatly packed away for her big trip. It's hard to believe that I will probably never see her again.

DH and I are both relieved that we've found a great home for our pup. The man wanted a companion to pal around with all day and Ranger is certainly a dog who loves to be with people and go with you even for a ride to the store. We think it's a great match ands she'll have a much better life than we can offer her right now and for the next couple of years. Plus, she'll be living on a 40 acre farm with a huskie dog next door who is missing his old pal so it couldnt' be more perfect.

We left later that morning on our 18 hour road trip to Ontario. We made good time and the kids handled the long drive amazingly well. They both slept great in the hotel room and seem to be adjusting well to living in Nanna's house. We are here for a month long visit so it's worth taking such a long road trip.

I've been thinking about Rangie a lot and wondering how she is. DH will call the man's daughter tomorrow (our friend) to get an update. It won't seem real for me until I am back home and she's not there :( I haven't lived without a dog for more than 13 years...I can't imagine what it will be like. I also worry about my sweet little boy wondering where the heck his doggie-doo has gone. I know it was the right decision but I'm still sad and feeling like there will be a big hole in our lives when we get back home and into the daily routine. I know it will be ok once we get used to it but I'm sure it will still be hard.

Ranger may be going to live with a new family

It makes me so sad but I think it's for the best. Our 7 year old border collie mix just left with DH to go visit with a friend's father to see if they are a good match.

This man is looking for a dog to adopt because he's recently had to put down his beloved pet. He's lonely and wants a new doggie buddy.

We have been thinking for a while now of finding a new home for our sweet Rangie girl. She just doesn't have the best quality of life right now because we are consumed with J and L. J loves Ranger so much. And they are good buds but I feel bad for the dog since she doesn't get much exercise these days and hasn't for a while. She also doesn't get a whole lot of attention from us either, except for J. In September we had to say goodbye to our older dog Murdoch and since she lost her best friend Rangie seems sad. We wish we could give her a better life and anew buddy to pal around with but right now we just can't. We are going to be moving to Ontario and to a big city. DH will be travelling a lot with his new job once we get there and I will be alone with the kids most of the time which will make things even more lonely for Rangie.

We hope this man connects with her and wants to take her home with him. He lives on a farm and wants a companion to dote on...Ranger is definitely a perfect candidate for that arrangement...

Can they really not find anything better to wear???

Seriously! What's with these teenage girls who wear their pajama bottoms as regular clothes?? It's so cold here today - minus 20 degrees celcius and windy. On the short drive home from the grocery I saw 2 girls walking in the freezing weather wearing their pj bottoms.

Am I just getting old and cranky? Perhaps. I understand that teens do weird things to stand out, rebel and to fit in with their peers and that clothing trends are a big part of that. I get it but I don't have to like it...I wasn't crazy about the kids wearing their baggy pants practically down around their knees with their drawers hanging out when that was in. The super low-rise jeans and the belly baring spaghetti strap tank tops made me wonder how so many of these young girls got past their parents wearing clothes so revealing. Ack! And now it pj's in public. I suppose we should welcome a change in the direction of covering up butts and bellies but I can't get past how sloppy and lazy it makes them look. It really makes me wonder: Can they not find anything better to wear???

I heard this on Oprah..

that when you are working out and trying to loose weight you will feel hungrier in the evenings because that's when your body is burning fat. It makes sense right??? At least it did when Oprah's weight loss guru guy explained how it works. Plus, you don't get thin without making changes and sacrificing yummy treats right???

Ack! I'm craving something to snack on right now. It's all I can think about. So, instead of eating junk I am folding laundry, packing for our trip, blogging, knitting...anything that will keep me out of the kitchen. And I keep imagining the numbers I tipped on the scale at my weigh in at Curves this week...I am down 5lbs! That's worth trying to hang on to.

I just hope I don't gain it all back and then some now that I am headed a my month long trip home without my regular Curves workouts.

My Dad's getting divorced...

I know this is an awful thing to think/say but it's about freaking time!

The story goes like this... My Mom died when I was 17yo. She was in a coma for 9months and we knew she'd never come back to us. My dad's an alcoholic and his drinking was insane during the long 9 months my Mom was in a coma.

Once she was gone he wallowed in his own misery for a while but he soon started dating a few different ladies. They were all nice enough. He lived with one for a while - my brothers and I loved her to bits but it was a rocky relationship for her and my Dad and it ended after a couple of years.

I think the biggest problem for him is that he has never gotten over my Mom, even to this day he still compares his wife Kathy to my Mom all the time. So, I was shocked to find out he had proposed to a woman I'd only met a few times shortly after he started dating her. My brothers and I saw a big change in my Dad when he started dating K. She's a kind lady with a young daughter (C was 8 yo at the time they married). We thought maybe my Dad had turned over a new leaf. He went camping and did all kinds of stuff with them - things he never did with us and that are totally opposite to what he's been like as long as I have known him - he's a homebody, well hermit is actually a better definition.

Anyway, the dating was going well since he was making such a great effort and they started talking about moving in together. K wouldn't move in with him unless they were married so he proposed and they tied the knot only a couple months later.

The day after the wedding things went sour. My Dad called me crying saying he's made a big mistake - ack! He immediately went back to his old ways of drinking and being generally miserable. I was so sad for K and C.

K has admitted to me that she really doesn't even like my Dad anymore. She feels duped by him. She believes that he misrepresented himself when they were dating which he did. That's so shitty! Anyway I guess because she was already divorced once she didn't want to do that again and she told me she would stick it out. SAD! I told her we all loved her and she should do what she feels is right for herself and not worry what other people will say or think.

My Dad's been just as unhappy in the marriage. He feels like she pesters him to do stuff he doesn't want to do. He's not involved at all with anything related to her daughter and Kathy is completely focused on C all the time, who is now 16 yo.

I guess C is going through a difficult phase as most teens do and it's put even more strain on an already weak and miserable union. So, my Dad told his wife he's not happy, and since she's obviously not happy they should go their separate ways. She agreed so they are splitting up. I am relieved although I do worry that it means my Dad will just become depressed and drink himself into oblivion after the dust settles and he's all alone. I hope I'm wrong and that he'll be happy. At least I know K and C will be better off but I will miss them.

Train of thought...

Today we made a trip to Antigonish to use the gift cards we got for Christmas at the book store there. It's a bit of a drive to get there...an hour or so on the highway. We've made this trip many times before and today as my mind started to wander as I watched the waves lapping the cold and icy ocean shore I wondered how many more times we would travel this highway. I am going to miss living in Nova Scotia once we finally sell our house and move back to Ontario.

Then I thought, what will I do in Ontario? I'd love to stay home as long as I can with our children. The cost of living is so much higher there and things are tight as it is. I will need to find work sooner or later - hopefully later, much later.

I started thinking that I would really like to work in the medical field, in a hospital or clinic perhaps. I have no experience or training in anything remotely medical. I have been thinking for a long time about becoming an ultrasound technician. I looked into this a year or so ago and learned that there are only a few schools that offer such a program and one is in the area where we are moving.

So, I thought about how I would go about such an endeavor. First, I want to and need to finish my MA in Sociology. Also, I will need to go back and find out what the pre-requisites are for the u/s/radiology tech program. I am hoping to finish up my MA and get the pre-req's for college and still be a SAHM.

I was really excited at the idea of being an u/s tech and wondered what kind of place I would work. Would I get to do a lot of pregnancy ultrasounds? How fun! But wait, maybe not so fun, right?? I have personally had more than one 'not fun' u/s. Could I really be the one to be the first to see and know that instead of a fetus there is a blighted ovum, or instead of a viable pregnancy there is nothing? I got really sad and started to tear up at the thought that u/s techs are sometimes called in to check babies that are near term...how would I handle being the first to see that baby's heart has stopped beating?

The day I found out that my second pregnancy was not viable and that my little baby had stopped developing at 8w6d (I was more than 10weeks along at that point) the regular u/s tech at our hospital was training a new tech. It was the young woman fresh from school who was at the controls in front of the magical, mystery screen and with the want on my little belly. She was the first to see that my baby had no heartbeat. I remember the room being so painfully silent. I was barely breathing. "Please tell me what you saw" I begged them both, but they said they weren't sure and couldn't say. Instead they just wheeled me off to talk to the ER Dr.

So, today as we drove along the highway that we'd driven a hundred times or more in the last 4 years, to the town where there is better shopping and restaurants and where the hospital is ...where twice we were heartbroken to learn that our babies stopped developing and twice we were blessed when I gave birth to our beautiful healthy children...I wondered how that young woman felt and what she was thinking that day at 10am staring at the screen and knowing she did not have good news to share. I hope that wasn't her fist day. I don't know that I could do that job and not cry and hug the woman who lay on the exam table. Maybe being an u/s tech isn't for me. Then I thought, maybe it is because I have been on both sides...

Then I spilled coffee all down the front of my coat and my train of thought was lost.