It could have easily been me...

who could have lost her husband is all I can think when I let myself think about the officer that was recently shot and killed.

Last week's murder of the RCMP officer in NWT has really hit me hard. I have very deliberately avoided reading media stories about the shooting and his life because it hits too close to home. DH called me the day after it happened and asked me if I saw the front page of the National Post. I had not. He told me not to look it up since it was too eerie.

I never did see the story but DH described it to me. A wedding photo of the slain Constable and his bride was on the front page...DH said it looked like it could have come out of our wedding album. The story went on to describe the young family's final moments together as the officer kissed his wife, who was tending to their 8m old daughter, as he headed out to a trouble call at 4:30am.

I can't even count the number of times I've lived that scene myself. All those times DH geared up in the middle of the night to go to a call it never once crossed my mind that he would never be home again. My heart breaks for the woman who lost her husband and the that sweet little girl who will never know her Daddy.

Late at night when I can't sleep because I am waiting for my husband to come home at 3, 4 or 5 am I always remind myself that I am not alone. That across the country many Mountie wives have their sleep disrupted and their husbands called away in the wee hours by drunks and criminals and people in distress. That's the way it goes. Somehow you learn to adjust and you really don't worry everytime they go out the door. You find a way to trust that they'll be fine and home soon. I wish this were always true for each and every one of us wives of cops.

My prayers and thoughts go out to the family who will bury Constable Worden tomorrow and live with the aftermath of this horrific event for the rest of their lives.