One week later...

and all's well.

It took about 1 hour on the first day for my nerves to settle and after that it was all good. I had a great first week at my new job. I am learning a lot and know that I will really enjoy the challenge of this job. The others in my group of new hires are nice; we all get along pretty well so far. I've really connected with a few of my peers, which is so nice. It feels great to get to spend the day with grown ups. There is a lot to learn and I have a lot of work to do at home in addition to my full days but I am loving it.

On the homefront things are great too. It's been a very smooth transition for all of us. Fortunately, because my DH works shift work he was home with the kids the first few days. After that, MIL looked after them. That went surprisingly well. And, they also got to go to the babysitter for one of the days too and that went great. It was so much fun for DS in fact that he cried when he had to leave the sitters. So all in all a great first week for everyone involved.

I am feeling so good about my decision to return to the paid workforce. I know there will be a lot of ups and downs, but it's been very reassuring to have my first week go so well.

Saturday night

This Saturday night doesn't feel much different than any other in the past 6 months since DH's transfer, however the nagging feeling in the pit of my stomach reminds me that it is definitely not like all the others.

In less than 36hrs I will be starting a new job. I will have already been up for 4 hours, driven into town, and will be sitting in an orientation session that will probably make my head spin.

DH said he thinks my first 5 weeks of intensive training and what follows with the on-the-job training will feel like being shot out of a cannon. I know he's right.

I started the application process for this kind of job almost a year ago. I put two years of thought into what I wanted to do when I'd finally return to the paid workforce. I know this is it. I know that this IS what I want. I've not chosen an easy path, that's for sure! It will certainly be very challenging and rewarding career.

I can't wait. It feels like it's taken forever to get to this point. At the same, time these last few weeks, since I got the call that I made the cut and was offered the job, seem to be flying by so fast.

I've filled my freezer with ready to cook homemade meals to make dinners easier to plan and execute.

I've organized and cleaned just about everything (well, except for the clutter of baby toys in the basement, which mock me each time I walk by them to do laundry).

I've made the necessary childcare arrangements, which are by far my greatest concern and what I stress most about, especially since MIL is going to be helping out in that respect. I'll save the details for a separate post, which hopefully will not be a big long rant -lol.

I've gotten my hair cut, picked out my 'first day of work' outfit, bought a cute new red lunch bag, and planned my route among many, many other things. So, I'm ready.

I'm so ready. I'm happy. I'm nervous. I'm excited. And, I'm sad. Sad to see my days as a SAHM come to an end. While sometimes the hours here at home dragged on and on for what felt like weeks. I cannot believe how fast these last three years have passed. I cannot believe that I am on the threshold of starting a new career, a new lifestyle, a new chapter in my life story.

And so it shall be...

I have two beautiful, healthy, adorable children. We are a happy little family and my DH is quite satisfied with what we have. I am too. I know very well how blessed I am for what I have but somewhere tugging at my heart was always a feeling that someone is missing. I really want to add to our family and expected that we would have at least one more.

At the end of March I had my 6 month follow up appointment with the bloodclot doctor. The Dr and I talked about a lot of things. My risk for having more bloodclots, etc... I am at an increased risk than the general population for developing them, especially in the next 2 years but he seemed pretty confident I would be just fine. If I ever have them again I have to be on bloodthinners for the rest of my life He cannot say for sure that being on birth control pills is what caused it, which is frustrating but oh well.

We also talked about the future and situations that put me at higher risk of clotting. The only truly risky situation for me really is any future pregnancy. If I choose to try for another baby I have to contact the thrombosis clinic and go on injectible bloodthinners while ttc, throughout the pg and for at least 6 weeks after delivery. Pregnancy put women's bodies into a hypercoagualted state so it would put me at a greater risk for DVT or PE. My family Dr later said that it would also mean a planned c-section for delivery so they could have more control as I have to be off the bloodthinners prior to delivery and then right back on them post-partum.

Dr. said that if I want more children I should not let this stop me. That it's totally manageable I'd just have to be followed closely through them. I really didn't know what to think. I was stunned and went right to the thought that I guess that means we will have no more babies.

I feel kinda dumb and naive because I totally wasn't expecting this information or any restrictions once my 6 month treatment course was complete. I honestly thought he would just sign off on me and say go live your life you're fine.

DH reacted as I expected he would - by planning to schedule an appointment for a vasectomy. I still don't feel done having babies yet but I am so scared of the risks and the idea of giveing myself a needle everyday for a year or more is not very appealing.

As more than a month's time has ticked by since I got this information I have been letting it rattle around in my head, slowly mulling it over. I think I need to accept that we are done having babies. I just can't take that kind of risk - there are just too many. I cannot take the chance of leaving my DH a widower or my children motherless. Still though, it's hard to accept that we are really done making babies.

So much is new...

I'm not sure where to begin.

DH is home. His transfer got pushed through quickly and he started a new job here closer to home in March. He likes his new job and having him here is a relief for us all.

Kids are growing up fast. DS just turned 4! They are so happy that spring has finally arrived. They love playing outside in the nice warm weather. Easter was a very happy holiday at our house this year. They loved helping bake Easter cookies, spending time with family and searching for the goodies the Bunny left behind.

I am looking for a job. I have been in the application process for a cool job that I have always wanted to do. It's going fast and I am doing well, so far succeeding at all the phases including passing my french language proficiency evaluation with flying colours! I have my panel interview this weekend and should find out by mid-June if I get a job offer. Training starts in September so this would be perfect. If it doesn't work out I will put off applying for jobs until the fall.

I had surgery last Wedsneday to remove my gallbladder. I was surprised by how crummy I felt afterwards. I mean, I guess I knew I wouldn't feel great but I felt awful. It could have also been because everyone in the house had the flu just after I got home. I am sure some of how bad I was feeling was from that...ugh! Anyway, it's now just less than a week after the surgery and I am feeling almost back to normal. Just a little sore at the incisions (I had a laporascopic procedure done). YAY!

There are a lot of things on my mind. I just don't have time to write it all out now, but will come back and blog about that soon.

Hooray for Spring :)

Valentine treats

These are the cookies I made for my kids' nursery school friends in lieu of cards and chocolate. They turned out pretty cute if I do say so myself. ;)

Awww, best friends

My sweet little two year old daughter and I played with puzzles today. As she worked on getting the little wooden chimpanzee piece in it's place she said:

"There's the monkey. What a silly monkey. He's my best friend."

Awww...

Still no real news...

and still hoping this is a good sign.

It turns out the big boss in charge was out of town on a work related project since the first week of January and that's why we haven't heard any updates yet regarding our transfer request. Dh was relayed a brief message today saying that he is back and looking into things. That's great news to us since we know it means it's a priorty for him to address our case. Yay!!!

Hopefully we will know more by the end of the week.
**fingers still crossed**

Crazy, but true

I was standing in the check out line at the grocery store last week. The woman ahead of me had a cart full and seemed grouchy as she tossed her items onto the belt. The cashier was scowling so I was closely watching the interaction between them.

The cashier held up a little bag of leaf lettuce and asked the woman what it was. The woman shrugged, mumbled something inaudible and returned to tossing groceries out of her cart. So, the cashier turned to her co-worker on the cash next to her and asked her what it was.

It's LEAF LETTUCE!!!

Seriously? She's a cashier at a grocery store, how do you NOT KNOW what leaf lettuce is? And the customer buying the lettuce...how do you NOT KNOW what you are buying is leaf lettuce? It's not like it was some exotic vegetable or fruit. WOW!

Dinosaur milk?

I was duty mom at nursery school last week and we had milk with snack. A little girl in the class had this conversation with the teacher.

girl: At home I have dinosaur milk.

teacher: Really? Dinosaur milk, eh? What does it taste like?

girl: silence

teacher: Does it taste like cows milk?

girl: Nope

teacher: Chocolate milk?

girl: Nope

teacher: Soy milk?

girl: Nope...it tastes like bubblegum!

No news is good news....right?

DH has applied for a transfer on compassionate grounds because of my health issues that began this fall. We were managing okay until his Mom found out that she has a serious heart condition. She cannot help me with the kids anymore to the extent that I need help to recover. So, it's been almost two weeks since we submitted he application and we haven't heard a thing. I really hope the old saying that 'No news is good news' is true in this case. **fingers crossed**

Here's to a Happy and Healthy 2009...I hope....

What a rough end to 2008. The kids both had fevers on Christmas Eve and I had an eye infection. DH was still getting over a nasty cold. We did have a lovely Christmas morning though. The kids' reaction this year was priceless and heartmelting. Just pure joy to behold. It was perfect :)

We hosted my family here on Christmas day for a traditional turkey dinner. The food was amazingly delicious - if I do say so myself. Brining turkey is the way to go...it was soooo yummy! The kids were well enough to last the whole day and loved visiting with Grampa and their aunts and uncles. It was a great day.

On Boxing Day Dh's family came here for dinner. We had another yummy meal - this time it was lasagna, garlic bread, ham, scallop potatoes, veggies, and salad. It was another successful gathering in our home. Again, the children loved having everyone here. They love spending time with family, especially their aunts, uncles and cousins that we don't get to see very often.

While normally I quite enjoy hosting holidays in my home and cooking for family, this year it was a chore to say the least. We finally got the contractor in to finish our ceilings,walls and trim - after waiting more than 7 months. He completed the job on Dec 19th, so we scrambled to get the ceilings painted and light fixtures in. We'd hoped to get the walls painted too but that was just too much to get done so close to Christmas. Plus, getting the ceilings done wore me out completely! So, I started Christmas week off feeling pretty tired and worn out already.

I managed to pull it all off and host two nice parties here, but it left me totally exhausted. A few days after Christmas I started feeling really crummy. My eye infection had finally cleared up but I had a pounding headache, then the body ache, sore throat, swollen glands, sore ears, fever, congestion...yep I got what DH had the week before and I was in bed for four days. FOUR days! I never get THAT sick. A whole week later and I'm still not myself. I am thinking I may need to head into the the ER to get checked today or tomorrow since I am now starting to cough and having trouble breathing...this is how I was feeling a week after a cold I had in early December that turned into pneumonia. I hope I am just being paranoid and overly cautious this time. On top of that the poor kids have come down with some new bug with fevers and upset tummies :(

So while 2008 went out with a whimper for us and 2009 started the same way I hold great hope for this new year. It has got to be better than last year. I pray that my health will steadily improve once I kick this latest bug, that my gallbladder surgery this spring goes smoothly and that I get back to feeling like me again soon.

I hope 2009 brings us good health and happy times and great new opportunities. These are my wishes for you all as well. Happy New Year!!!